Open Bar, Insert Phone

Open Bar, Insert Phone

A riddle:  When is an open bar not free? (answer found in next sentence)  When you wake up the next morning and find your iPhone sticking out of your bedside glass of water.  That's when.  

So, we were in Boston for a wedding.  One of Erika's friends.  I'll skip all the nuptials and get right to the reception.  This was the full monty, by the way.  Tray pass hors d'oeuvres, four course dinner, midnight pizza, AND dueling open bars.  The scotch was Macallan 12 year.  This was gonna be good.  

There was a DJ spinning all the latest hits.  There was a floor.  And I had a fever.  Dancing fever.  

I didn't stay with the single malt.  I quickly made the "safe" move to red wine.  Like an athlete and his Gatorade, I was a dancing machine only taking breaks to rehydrate on J. Lohr Seven Oaks Cabernet.  By the end of the night, I had eliminated the breaks, but not the Cabernet.  Thinking I looked debonair, I swung my hips about the dance floor, snapping my fingers with one hand, balancing my glass of wine in the other.  I left a splattered trail of red wine droplets behind me, a Pollockian reminder to those who might follow.   

The night was over.  I had successfully brought sexy back, and to bed I went.  

Cut to:  6:30 am.  I woke up needing water.  My eyes opened, began to focus.  There was my glass of water on the night stand.  And there was my iPhone submerged within.  "Baby," I sleep-mumbled to Erika, "I put my iPhone in my water."  "Oh, Baby," she sleep-empathized back.  

The worst part was I don't remember doing it.  Somewhere in the night, I must have checked the time, then reached over and put the phone back, but somehow in the two and a half inch opening of my water glass.  

Right now, the phone is submerged in uncooked rice because that's what the iPhone chat room people all said to do to get the moisture out.  If that doesn't work (and I'm giving it a 2% chance that it will), it's back to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store.  Who's the genius now?